The world has spent a lot of time over the last few months discussing the idea of a post Covid-19 ‘new normal’. The idea of stepping out into a new and improved world, once our respective governments allow us out of our houses, has kept us warm during the long nights in quarantine.
Quarantine is slowly starting to come to an end in many countries around the world, with some countries starting to open up both locally and to tourists. Summer in Europe anyone? Jokes. I am not even allowed back to my own apartment in another province, let alone on an international flight. Now that we are seeing what the other side of wave 1 lockdown (this virus isn’t actually going anywhere so we still suspect wave 2 is heading our way) is starting to look like we decided to pen our thoughts on the themes underpinning this ‘new normal’. Our themes have been developed from quotes we have heard during this time.
Bras and jeans must fallall female dominated whatsapp groups
Working from home has shown us that you can actually do your job perfectly competently without being coiffed from head to toe. We have also all survived trips to the grocery store in our sweatpants, sans bras and no one has died from shock. Let’s keep this trend up. Especially for those whose jeans no longer fit, quarantine has taught us to save and we cannot be wasting money on fashion (that’s just too 2019). On a side note – if your significant other has been quarantining/working in jeans, they are sociopaths and we strongly advise you to RUN while you still can.
Outside good. Inside bad.everyone in south africa, when we were allowed outside again after 5 weeks
We’ve all spent far too much time staring at the walls of our own (parent’s) homes/minds. This doesn’t need further explanation.
Let’s never blow out the candles on birthday cakes againzoom call discussion on how gross this is
There has been a point during quarantine where each one of us has been watching a movie and saw someone blowing out the candles on a cake or shaking hands and thought ‘Omg stop… CORONAVIRUS!!!‘. On reflection we have realised that every time we have eaten a birthday cake after someone has blown out the candles, we are also getting a free side of their germs. Let’s stop this forever. Please.
Let’s leave trading to the expertsseema, after realising i have no clue what to do with my newly opened trading account
Many people became stock trading experts whilst Covid-19 was wreaking havoc on global economies, hoping to use the opportunity to cash in on some discounts on the stock market. The reality – an inflated stock price on the not-Zoom-you-thought-you-use-for-video-calls company with the name Zoom. And a stock market bubble which experts are predicting will burst soon. If you don’t understand what a margin call is or the difference between a put and call option then we suggest you go back to watching Netflix in your pyjamas.
Dating still sucksnumerous instagram meme accounts
A quick survey of some single males* has conclusively demonstrated that the answer to ‘did the quarantine make you rethink wanting to be in a relationship?’, is still no. In fact the quarantine has inspired them to just try and date more girls than usual when it’s allowed.
PS -our sample size of 3 isn’t statistically significant but still confirms the hypothesis that dating sucks, so we stand behind it
PPS – the suckiness of dating will be a recurring theme so expect many more jaded posts along these lines
We really have to wash our hands all the time now, heyanonymous (identity protected given their newly discovered take on cleanliness)
Those who thought hand washing was something other people did for fun (seriously, how can you leave a bathroom without washing your hands?!) have learnt the hard way that it is actually an important act. Please keep it up!
An important theme is that Covid-19 isn’t actually over yet. Whilst countries around the world are slowly easing up lockdown restrictions and normality is starting to return, Covid-19 is still here, and is here to stay until we find a feasible preventative measure. We need to take responsibility for not just ourselves, but also our greater community. Wear a mask, practise social distancing and stay at home as much as possible. This is a short term sacrifice in the greater scheme of things, and we will be allowed to go out, travel, explore and resume normality again at some point. Until then don’t be a maskasshole or covidiot!
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